Birchbox Man June 2012 Box Review

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The June Birchbox Man boxes are starting to arrive across the country, causing filthy men everywhere to jump with glee. Or at least grunt with muted emotion at the box their wife ordered for them. I got the poker box that is sure to help me jump-start my three-card monte small business. Here's my review of the June box from a showered man who ordered his own subscription.

  1. John Varvatos Star USA

    I call this a "traditional" scent. Unlike the Costume National cologne from last month's box, this is more likely to turn up on the neck of a teenager or a sweaty guy in a club somewhere. I imagine -- I haven't been in a club in 13 years. This scent is bound to be appealing to many, but I think it lacks depth. It smells sweet and a guy can easily overdose (indeed the instructions say "apply sparingly"). That reminds me. Birchbox Man box creators: if you're going to include cologne, I recommend including an atomizer on the bottle. Men are too darn clumsy to carefully open that tiny bottle. I almost spilled it on my dog. Retail price starts at $55 with a cool looking bottle.
  2. Zirh Shave Gel

    Unfortunately, I already knew I didn't like this product. My wife got this for me as a super-sample from Sephora. This product is completely clear and I have bad eyes. Put those together on a groggy morning and I can't always see where I've already shaved. When a shaving product has a color (typically white), I can see where I've shaved. When it's clear, I've got no idea. There were more than a few times I'd look in the mirror at work and see where I missed a spot shaving. I know the reasoning is that if you're trying to shave a specific shape or pattern, clear gel is helpful because it doesn't obscure what you don't want to shave. Retail price is $15 and needless to say, I would not buy this product. If you want those mutton chops in shape, go for it!
  3. Dan & Dave Plaid Playing Cards

    Umm...Thanks? Sure, they look cool and feel of high quality, but it wasn't what I expected to find in the box. I suppose if I had a regular poker game going it might come in handy. Retail price is $6 for one pack. I've already got two packs now, so I don't need to buy any more. If you're in the market for some playing cards or know someone who's a magician, this is a good choice. Now I gotta plan a poker night so I can get some use out of these.
  4. Ovenly Spicy Bacon Caramel Corn

    This snack is exactly what it sounds like. Caramel corn with pieces of bacon and spice (cayenne). And they make it with beer. Sounds like a tasty treat, no? I suppose this will go well with the poker game I need to schedule. The taste of these is interesting, but the texture kept me from digging in. I'm not really a caramel corn fan and this is the most sticky caramel corn I've ever tried. Though I do love me some bacon. At $5.50 a bag I might buy this again as a treat. Be sure to try it with a beer.
  5. Kérastase Bain Capital Force Anti-Oiliness Shampoo

    I'll say it. I've got dandruff. That's right, wanna fight about it? Therefore, my options for shampoo are limited. The available products nowadays are a far cry from the Tegrin shampoo my dad used, but I still like to mix it up. This isn't an anti-dandruff shampoo, but rather an anti-oiliness shampoo. Birchbox also sent out an email before the box arrived letting me know that they made a mistake and put the wrong sample size in the box. That's good, because what they gave me wasn't very big; only enough for one washing. Retail price is $36. Since it doesn't help with dandruff, I can't really make a repeat purchase, but I'd recommend it for guys without such an issue.

Where's my watch?

Overall, I'm a touch disappointed with this box, probably because some people got a watch in their boxes. You see, Birchbox sends out different combinations of products to different people, so you don't really know what you're getting. This month, there were six box combinations and four of those combinations had a RumbaTime VanDam GO Watch that I suspect I would have liked more than the cards or cologne, given that I got cologne last time. I put on my profile that I have an athletic fashion sense, so I'm not sure why I wasn't shipped one of those. Oh well, first world problems, right?

Do I keep going? Yes. For now. I'm still intrigued by what's to come next month and am in no way bored by the service. These little boxes of products have really taken the monotony out of my daily grooming routine. Now it's time to go find a cool club so I can try out my cologne. I won't go in. I'll just hustle people with my card tricks when them come out. Maybe I'll make enough to buy the watch.

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